It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
