you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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