And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
where are my pants?
in the oven.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
