there's paper in my vomit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
