How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
