Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
