she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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