escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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