BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
