I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
