i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
