She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
