Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
