Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
