Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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