i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize