I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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