she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
