I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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