you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
