Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
