no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
