I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
