he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Let's paint friendship bongs
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
