shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize