So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
