I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
