Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize