He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"it" just moved
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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