they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
