are you still at the devil's house?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
