you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Randomize
