My friends, they love my intelligence
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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