I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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