She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
