Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
