I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
