Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
