Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
