How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
