I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its about making memories worth repressing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
