do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
