It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
