pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize