Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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