We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
