Apparently you make a good broom.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Randomize
