it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
