She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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