hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
