Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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