We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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