i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Are we still banned from the library?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The air was thick with penises
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My life is pants optional.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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