just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
