If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
