I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
my liver is dry heaving
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
