I am full of burrito and curiosity
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
did i just pee glitter
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
