i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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