too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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