Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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