I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
