if you like me you must not know who I am
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
