i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize