i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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