would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize