some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Randomize