As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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