Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
