I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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