Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
