they need to just BURY HIM!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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